Gumshoe
by Amanda Rohrssen
Chapter Five
Something Annie had said led me to revisit the address of the bakery I had checked out a few days before. Though at that time it had seemed
a remarkably unsuspicious location, with an even more unremarkable and less suspicious owner, I now knew it to be the base of operations of
one of Saint Canard’s most despicable desperados. As if the name alone hadn’t been enough of a clue. Miss Abby’s Bake Shop.
Our wives had shared names…
I clenched the strip of paper tightly in my fist. I could almost taste my revenge.
She had been flaunting her partnership with Jake in my face the entire time. I was supposed to find the address at the bar. I was supposed to have taken Miss McCawber to the gala. I was supposed to fall for the enemy. And like a puppet on a string, I played my part effortlessly. A grand fool.
She had been using various wigs, no doubt taking on many guises as part of Jake’s plan, and her personnel file had been forged flawlessly. Oh, there had been an Annie Barrow due to become SHUSH’s chief agent, all right. But the real one had not shown up for duty.
There was no doubt in my mind that she had already taken the evidence of Jake’s blackmail of former Chief Agent Gryzlikoff out of hiding. Not only had she gained my confidence to throw me off, but she had probably deterred the Fearsome Five out of Jake’s path as well, which likely explained their perplexing appearance at the museum. Damn her.
At least there was still time to stop them. The only question remaining was how to do it.
“It’s about time you got here,” I growled. “Everything’s ready. Is he coming?”
“If I played my cards right, they both will be,” she replied, removing the red wig.
“What about Darkwing?”
“I sent out a few rumors among the lowlifes on Yowler Street. Should keep him busy for a while.” She shook out her raven hair and ran her fingers through it. I’d forgotten how enticingly beautiful she was.
I moved behind her and placed my hands on her hips, but she moved away from me.
“Later,” she said shortly, all business. “They’ll be here soon.”
“At least I’ve got leverage on one of them…” I said with a devilish smirk. My eyes travelled up to my young blonde hostage, who was dangling precariously from the rafters with a chain wrapped around her midsection. I’d chloroformed her to make things easier. She hung limply, like a puppet without a puppeteer. Beneath her was a simple vat of boiling wax…hot enough to burn flesh from bone.
I loved having the upper hand on my double, and I was confident in the fact that I would soon have the upper hand on my son. In a few minutes, I would be the most powerful mob boss in all of Saint Canard.
Suddenly -- a spark of light from the farthest shadowy corner, at once followed by a thunderous discharge. A bullet graze my cheek, and it stung like a paper cut. The string of curses that came after gave away the identity of my would-be assassin.
“Hello, Negaduck.”
“Hello yourself, you bastard!” he screamed, charging out of the darkness and firing shot after shot in my direction. His eyes were wide and wild like a madman’s, and I knew the anger had consumed him to the point of irrationality and foolhardiness, as it often did whenever he failed to kill me. Seeing the insanity in him that I so often brought forth gave me immense satisfaction.
I dodged his sloppy aim with no problems and ducked behind a stack of flour bags before retrieving my own firearm and returning the sentiment. He found his own barricade behind the large metal mixer. We were quickly at a stalemate, but before I could order my men to start up the RMCD and take care of Negaduck, he yelled with savage triumph.
“Aren’t you forgetting something, old man?”
I met his question with cold silence. He laughed. From behind the mixer, I saw him lift his arm up, and in his fist was a golden rod, littered with jewels.
“You can’t arm the weapon without this baby!”
Now it was my turn to laugh. “You’ve gotta be kidding me!” I howled. “You actually fell for that?”
“What are you talking about?” he demanded sharply.
“You always were too hot-headed and impulsive. That’s why you’ll never measure up to me. That’s why you’ve never been able to best me, boy! Who told you you needed to steal that to power the machine?”
He hesitated, and I basked in his failing confidence.
“You never questioned me when I told you what Dr. Bellum said,” Ava said smoothly, coming around the corner with a calculating smirk. “And you didn’t bother confirming it for yourself. You completely took my word.” She tossed her head, driving the nail in further. “I had blonde hair then.”
“But…but…” Negaduck looked dejectedly from the scepter to her callous face. He recognized her now, and he knew he’d played right into my hands.
“You really think that ancient relic is the key to powering the machine?” she went on snidely. “For a supposedly devious and cunning public enemy, you’re exceptionally gullible. I sent you to the museum to get you out of the way so that we could steal the weapon from you!”
Suddenly, his grip tightened, and his jaw clenched. I could see his feathers begin to change to a deep scarlet color. He was about to let loose a roar of unadulterated rage, but he was interrupted by a voice more commanding.
“FOOLISH MORTALS!” the deep, numinous voice boomed seemingly out of the Roman Candle. An ethereal yellow light burst from the golden staff. Negaduck shrieked and flung the object away, but it floated in midair. “I AM THE SPIRIT OF LEO, THIRTEENTH EMPEROR OF THE GLORIOUS ROMAN EMPIRE! WHO WAS IT THAT DARED EXHUME ME FROM MY PLACE OF REST??”
In unison, Ava, my henchmen, and I all pointed at Negaduck, whose eyes widened considerably.
“Uh oh…” He took off at a dead sprint, the ghostly scepter in hot pursuit, and it began bashing him over the head at various intervals.
I chuckled. “At least that keeps him out of our feathers, right Ava?”
Hearing no reply, I looked around for her only to lock eyes with someone I was all too familiar with.
“You…” I growled darkly.
Jacob Mallard had Ava by the throat and was pointing a gun to her temple.
“Surrender, Jake, or I’ll blow her head off!”
I tsked my tongue. “Jacob, Jacob…it isn’t like you to resort to this…besides, if you were a tad more observant, you would have noticed that you are not the only one with a pretty girl as a hostage.”
I watched his gaze flicker around the vast room until it landed on the blonde. He didn’t show it, didn’t falter at all in manner or expression, but I knew. I knew he was realizing he was greatly outnumbered and outgunned, and he was rethinking his action.
“Poor little thing,” I continued slyly. “In the wrong place at the wrong time…with the wrong mallard.”
“Where’s the chief agent??” he demanded.
I watched the arm he had around Ava’s neck tighten. I shrugged innocently. “Whatever do you mean? She’s right in front of you.”
“Annie!” he shouted. I loved getting to him like this, frustrating him to the point of losing his so carefully constructed exterior and weakening his self-control. “Annie Barrow! The woman who was supposed to be chief agent!”
“Oh, probably floating face-down somewhere in the bay,” I replied offhandedly. “Unless Ava saw fit to give her a pair of cement shoes. Then she’s not floating at all.”
“Ava, huh?” he spat into her ear. “That your real name, or another one of your aliases?”
She pursed her lips together and didn’t speak. Her defiance even in the most terrifying of situations was something I’d always admired about her.
He gave up on her and moved to a new subject. I allowed him to continue with the charade of power if only to make his downfall that much harder for him to bear.
“Why were you blackmailing Chief Agent Gryzlikoff?”
“Oh, come now, old friend. You know why.”
“True enough. But I want those files back.”
“Which ones?”
“The copies of the documents and transactions between you and Gryz, the ones that he had hidden in his apartment.”
“Ah. You see, that’s quite impossible, old boy. Ava destroyed them for me just this morning. You really should be more careful who you share the whereabouts of such vital information with.”
“What did he do?”
“Beg pardon?”
“What did he do that he didn’t want anyone to find out? What could he have done that was so terrible he’d betray SHUSH?”
I smiled broadly, daring to strut out from behind cover so that I could better see my double’s face as I gloated. “A few years ago he was sent on a mission to kill one of F.O.W.L.’s top agents.”
“Yeah, so?”
“So…” I inhaled deeply, taking my time delivering the information he wanted simply because I could. “He killed the wrong man.”
“How do you know?”
“Because…he was sent to kill my next-in-command, who also happens to be F.O.W.L.’s top agent…Steelbeak. Steelbeak told me of the mix-up, and things went from there. You know as well as I do that if word got back to J. Gander that Gryzlikoff had slipped up, he’d be out of a job. And we all know he was practically married to SHUSH.”
I could see Jacob’s mind wrapping around this, busily fitting the pieces together, until one didn’t quite fit. I was ready to answer before he even asked the obvious question.
“Because Steelbeak was obviously still alive, Gryzlikoff gave himself a non-fatal gunshot wound and said Steelbeak had uncovered the assassination plot somehow and had ambushed him. That he’d barely managed to get away. Needless to say, the guilt weighed heavily on Gryzlikoff’s shoulders…and I got to profit from that guilt. He decided to grow a backbone after a while and said he was going to tell J. Gander himself about what happened so that I wouldn’t be able to blackmail him anymore. He wanted to rat out on our agreement. But I made sure that was quite impossible. By that time I’d gotten all of the information I needed, anyway.
“Now why don’t you put your gun down, hm? You’re completely outnumbered. SHUSH is kaput. And half of the police force is already on my payroll.”
“I’ll kill her,” he said darkly, pulling Ava closer against him and cocking the hammer on the gun.
I shrugged. “That would be a real shame. But, you see, if you refuse to release her, I’ll be forced to shoot you both. You don’t want to be responsible for two more deaths, do you?”
Before he could reply, I punched a button on the wall beside me to engage the pulley over the vat of boiling wax. The blonde was as good as dead now, and I allowed myself a dark chuckle. Jacob was analyzing the situation with his unreadable black eyes. Finally he loosed Ava from his hold, and shoved her forward at me. At a motion of my wrist, my men moved forward to begin tying him up.
“Why her?” my double demanded as he watched the young girl near her fate. “You’ve wanted her dead from the start, didn’t you? You sent that gunman to my office to kill her!”
“Wrong! I didn’t send any gunman, but unlike him I will succeed in killing her…unless you willingly surrender to me and turn yourself in for blackmail..and murder.”
Jacob’s eyes darkened underneath his feathery brow and he glowered at me. “Never.”
“Then she dies!” I cried.
“No.”
I whirled at the voice behind me and barely caught a glimpse of a fist coming at my face. The punch landed hard, firmly jarring tissue and bone beneath flesh, and my head shot backward. I didn’t have time to recover before the swift swipe of a leg knocked me flat on my back. My vision cleared quickly and I stared into the face of my attacker.
“Ava…” I growled. With a quick jab of my leg she was knocked sideways, and I leapt to my feet, gripping my pistol tightly. We were about to lunge at each other when a third party charged between us.
“Outta the way!” Negaduck snarled, immediately followed by the glowing scepter.
“RETURN ME TO MY PLACE OF REST!!”
As soon as they passed, Ava closed the distance between us and kicked the weapon out of my hand. I watched it skitter across the floor and come to a rest beside the RMCD.
“What are you doing??” I demanded.
Jacob seized the opportunity and fought off my men. I made a mental note to hire henchmen with fighting skills the next time I had open recruitment. Even with his bum leg, it wasn’t long before he had either driven the rest away in fear or had beaten them into unconsciousness. He pressed the button on the wall to cease the girl’s descent into the wax, and now he and Ava both held a gun in their hands, aimed at me.
“Take the girl and go,” Ava commanded. “I’ll handle Jake.”
Jacob eyed her darkly. “Why should I trust you?”
She sighed exasperatedly, as if it were all too obvious.
“I sent the gunman. Hammerhead Hannigan. I found him at the Old Haunt, where I also planted a lead for you…”
“Why?” Jacob questioned, nodding toward the girl. “Why her?”
“Because,” she said with a small, superior smirk as she backed slowly toward the stolen SHUSH machine. “The Radio Mind Control Device doesn’t run on regular electric currents. It runs on a special kind of energy, something that drives particular…talents that certain people possess.”
I scoffed from where I lay. “Please.” I didn’t believe in magic. “It’s only a matter of time before she double-crosses you too,” I snarled toward my twin. “Not that I wouldn’t enjoy the look on your face when it happens.”
“Shut up!” she snapped, and rammed the toe of her pointed shoe into my side.
“You want the city for yourself!” I accused her. “I knew you were upset when I left the Negaverse, but don’t you think this is a bit overkill?”
Her eyes flashed dangerously. I knew I’d struck a nerve in bringing up the past.
“I’m going to use this weapon myself. I’m taking it back to the Negaverse with me…and I’m going to use it to stop SHUSH from destroying the city.”
My jaw hit the floor. “What??” I knew she’d been upset when I decided to leave everything in the Negaverse behind to start my criminal empire here, but I never realized she’d switched sides. How dare she double-cross me!
I watched Jacob’s expression fall into one of relief, and even a little bit of admiration. If I had been any closer to him I’d have forcefully removed his bill and shoved it where the sun didn’t shine.
“You,” she barked, indicating me. “Open the portal to the Negaverse. Now.” She shot the ground in front of me to show she meant business.
I didn’t move.
She shot again, this time barely clearing a particularly sensitive area between my legs. I took my time about getting to my feet, but I moved toward the unusually large birthday cake in the corner and popped open the top, revealing the eerie green light that the signaled the ability to transport to another, parallel universe.
“You have Morgana McCawber,” my double said softly, as if just coming to a conclusion. Ava smiled.
“Yes. And as soon as I get rid of her sister, the Friendly Organization for World Love will have the only power source for the machine available in both universes.”
“Well, my dear,” Jacob said with that idiotically flirtatious grin of his as he cocked the hammer on his gun, “I’m afraid I can’t allow the murder of an innocent.”
She looked at him coldly. “No, you need a few shots of bourbon in you first.”
The cunning, amused look on his face washed away. She was too busy glaring at him to realize Negaduck was right behind her. He’d somehow managed to ditch the possessed relic and wrapped a cord around Ava’s neck. Her eyes bulged and she flailed but did not drop her gun.
“This is MY weapon!” he shouted heatedly.
While they were busy, I took one step toward the portal cake, then stopped myself. Grinning deviously, I raced toward my double and kicked him hard on the jaw, catching him off guard. His gun soared out of his grasp and knocked the button on the wall, sending the blonde back down toward the bubbling wax.
I wanted to do more to Jacob, but my window of opportunity was closing. I had friends in the Negaverse. I could build a new empire there.
I leapt up to the top of the dessert, intent on diving through the portal.
“I am the terror that flaps in the night!” A cloud of blue smoke appeared near the glowing cake Jake was standing on. I knew right away who it was, and was glad of his presence. “I am the propeller on the Aero Commander of justice! I am…Darkwiiiiing Duck!”
The costumed hero flapped his cape, took hold of a rope suspended from the rafters, and swung through the air. I could hear the wind shoot out of Jake’s lungs as Darkwing’s feet slammed into his chest and propelled him backward off of the portal.
“And your little trip has just been cancelled!”
Jake taken care of, I lumbered toward Negaduck and Ava, who looked on the verge of losing consciousness, and slammed into Negaduck’s side, throwing them both to the ground. The villain rolled into an empty barrel, knocking it over, and from underneath it flew the Egyptian staff, now glowing red with fury.
“Oh great…” Negaduck groaned before high-tailing it out of the backroom, through the bakery, and into the city streets, the artifact conking his head every few feet.
“Darkwing!” I shouted, pointing toward Ariana, who was just a few feet from becoming a duck-shaped candle. “Get the girl!”
His eyes fell on her, and in seconds he’d grabbed the rope again and was swinging over the vat. He grabbed her around the waist and they both swerved onto a high beam. From there the hero could untie her and make sure she was unharmed. I had never been more proud of my son.
“That’s the second hostage I’ve single-handedly rescued,” he announced smugly as he came down with her in his arms.
“The first being…?” I asked him.
“Dr. Bellum, of course.” He answered as if the fact were obvious. “I was going to see J. Gander about some tips I’d been receiving when I realized the entire place had been gassed…”
I ignored the rest of his prattling; Ava was becoming more lucid.
“What’s he doing here?” she wheezed.
“I called him before coming here with an ‘anonymous tip,’” I replied.
She coughed a little, then looked up at me coyly with those familiar hazel eyes. “Are you going to arrest me…?”
“Tell me where Morgana is.”
“I need that machine, Mr. Mallard. An entire city is counting on me.”
“Are you really from the Negaverse?”
“F.O.W.L. special agent, first class.”
“F.O.W.L.?”
“We’re on the good side. Everything is opposite there.”
“Yes, I know. Wouldn’t there be a Morgana in your universe just as powerful?”
“She was one of our greatest foes,” Ava explained, her voice gradually becoming stronger. “She and her sister. But they were killed in a fire years ago.”
“So the only source you know of for that kind of power…”
She nodded.
I shook my head. “Why kidnap her? Why not simply ask?”
“I couldn’t let Jake or Negaduck get to her first, if they were to ever find out the truth. And she didn’t believe me. I had to do something. Without her, there is no hope. We don’t even have the technology for our own weapon.”
“I’ll go…” a small voice ventured.
It was Miss McCawber, having awakened from her unconscious state. Ava and I looked at her, then at one another.
I could hear police sirens in the distance, and wondered if Darkwing had let them in on the situation. I wasn’t going to stick around to find out.
“You would do that?” Ava asked softly.
Ariana nodded. “My sister has ties here -- a boyfriend, family, a business -- but there is nothing to keep me here.”
“Can you trust me?”
Again, the young blonde nodded. “I only ask that you please release my sister. Then I will help you in whatever way I can.”
I looked at Ava intently. “Where is she?”
“6445 Red Rocks Boulevard. 6th floor, suite 130.”
“That’s the upscale district…” I mused. Then I looked over at Darkwing, who was staring out of the windows eagerly. No doubt hoping the press was going to show. “You! Hero.”
He turned and eyed me a little sheepishly. “Look, about that arrest earlier. I want to say –“
“Get to 6445 Red Rocks Boulevard. There is a woman on the 6th floor in suite 130 who needs your help.”
“Sheesh, how many hostages can this city have in one day?” he muttered under his breath before he held up his cape, looking for another smoke bomb.
“Wait,” Ava said firmly. Darkwing paused. “I have something for you.”
“You do?”
“Here.” She shoved a plastic bag into his hands. The inside was slightly stained with gun powder, but through the material an ivory-handled pistol could clearly be seen. “This was the gun that Jake used to kill Mrs. Mallard and the daughter…”
Darkwing and I both blinked in surprise.
“How did you…?” we questioned in unison.
Ava looked solemnly over at Jake’s crumpled, unconscious form. “He and I were very close once…” Then she shook her head decisively and all traces of emotion were gone from her face.
My son and I passed each other a look. One that spoke volumes as he settled the evidence against him inside his jacket.
“Now go,” Ava said quietly, just barely audible over the sirens coming closer.
“Uh…you’ll tell the reporters of my heroic rescue, right? Remember, Darkwing Duck is two words, not three, both D’s capitalized…”
“Just go!”
“Okay, okay!”
In a burst of blue smoke, he was gone.
I moved closer to Ava. “Need any help in the Negaverse?”
“F.O.W.L. is always looking for a few good men,” she replied slyly. “But how are we going to move the machine? It’s too big…”
“I can help with that,” Ariana offered gently. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. I blinked as I watched her hands begin to sparkle. In a barely audible voice, she chanted something in an archaic tongue then directed two beams of light blue magic at the RMCD.
The SHUSH device lifted into the air as if it weighed no more than paper, and as it floated over the open cake portal, its shape distorted itself until it was sucked into the narrow opening and disappeared. Ariana opened her eyes and seemed to grow dizzy for just a moment before catching herself.
“Are you all right?” I asked.
She smiled. “I’m fine, Mr. Mallard. It’s…hard to explain.”
“Well then. Shall we?” said Ava, already climbing the cake.
Ariana went in first. Ava looked at me almost admiringly.
“Are you sure this is what you want?”
“Baby,” I said suavely with a wink, “if there’s one thing I am, it’s a mallard who knows what he wants.”
I watched her clamber in. I could hear the police cars squealing to a stop just outside of the bakery. My eyes passed over the scene once more. Jake and his men had been defeated. All of the hostages had been rescued. I didn’t have to worry about paying the rent on my dilapidated office. My son would ensure revenge for our family. All thanks to Ava.
I would miss life in this Saint Canard. But there was an even greater adventure calling me on the other side.
I placed one foot firmly in, then the other, before vanishing into the unknown.